After taking some time off to study for my Internal Medicine board recertification exam, and some additional time off to recover from studying for my board recertification exam, we’re back with a new Moments Matter.

Today’s topic comes straight from the mind of my amazing 5 year old daughter. One day she asked such a simple, yet deeply curious, question that I at first didn’t know how to respond.

“Why is it important to be kind?”

I thought about it for a moment. My first instinct was to say “because it’s the right thing to do!” or “because Mr. Rogers!” but those weren’t really answers.

Instead, I did what any palliative care doctor might do, and replied with “what do you mean? Tell me more.”

She told me how her teachers always say it’s important to be nice and kind, and how I always talk about being considerate and respectful. And that sometimes it’s hard to be kind, especially when other kids are being mean.

I gave her a hug and went into dad mode for a minute (why, did something happen at school?) which then turned into talking about tough feelings, and imaging a world where everyone was kind and respectful and knew how to talk about and sit with the differences that make us so unique and amazing.

We talked about how there’s so much meanness in the world. So much darkness, and how do you get rid of darkness? We talked about how only light can do that. I shared with her that I firmly believe there’s kindness in all of us. Sometimes it’s buried, or hidden, or hasn’t seen the light in ages. But I think it’s still there. Sometimes all it takes is a simple act of kindness for it to come out in others.

I could tell she didn’t know what I meant, or that I wasn’t doing a great job of explaining. So I decided to show her.

The outer perimeter of Mercy Hospital is buffered on one side by Boulevard of the Allies, a fast moving access point to 579 and the Liberty Bridge. There’s so much construction by Mercy, and the cars on the Boulevard are going so fast, that it’s nearly impossible to leave Mercy and make the sharp right needed to merge.

I’ve seen cars stuck there for five minutes, waiting to turn. It’s terrifying at times, and so insanely stressful.

I drove my kids by one day in heavy traffic. I saw the long line of cars leaving Mercy, waiting to merge. I saw the driver of the first car craning his neck out, inching forward nervously, trying to time it just right.

“Remember how we talked about kindness bringing out kindness? Let’s try something.”

I slowed down and waved at the driver, and watched as he turned comfortably into our lane. As he drove away, we saw his hand shoot up and wave back.

“That was nice of him,” my daughter said, finally realizing what I meant.

“Now look behind us,” I said.

My kids turned around and looked behind us.

As we drove away, we saw the driver behind us slow down to let the next car in. And the next driver did the same, and the next the same.

And pretty soon, all the cars had turned.