Slow down.

Literally. I’ve been in family meetings that felt like NASCAR races, with doctors speaking so quickly it left my head spinning. It’s not a race to get the information out, and trust me – your patients are likely already confused and overwhelmed and nauseated.

If you’re nervous because the Palliative Care attending is in the room listening, don’t be! We’re nice people. Take a deep breath, and slow down. How will you know that you need to slow down? Look for non-verbal cues like fidgeting, furrowed eyebrows, and looking around the room nervously. If you find yourself needing to take a deep breath while you’re speaking, that’s another sign.

One trick I use to slow the tempo of a conversation is to speak with my hands. I do this naturally but if I find the pace speeding up, then I intentionally slow things down with my hands much like a conductor. I’ll match the oscillation of my hands to a slower tempo. This works wonders, and not only helps me slow down but helps others in the conversation slow down, too (it also works really well for diffusing escalating tension).

So remember: slow down! It’ll help you get where you’re going that much faster.